Tea Leaf Astrologer
(August 23 – September 22)
Before a Virgo bakes a pie, they have already sliced it a dozen times in a dozen different ways. They have considered everything: how the vegan butter might affect the flakiness of the crust; whether the pie should be chilled before sliced; which knives to use for scoring and cutting; et cetera, et cetera. We know you’re analytical. But birthdays are meant to be fun. No need to dissect the flavor out of every slice. You’ll kill your own buzz.
Tea leaf “fortunes” for the rest of you:
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
The knots will untangle themselves.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
Don’t overthink it.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
Rinse and repeat.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)
Three words: Know your audience.
Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)
Cut the rope. You know what I’m talking about.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
The answer is chocolate.
Aries (March 21 – April 19)
Take a breather.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
You’re paddling upstream again.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
Do they know that it’s a game to you?
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
Someone needs a hug.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
Go for the upgrade. OH
Zora Stellanova has been divining with tea leaves since Game of Thrones’ Starbucks cup mishap of 2019. While she’s not exactly a medium, she’s far from average. She lives in the N.C. foothills with her Sphynx cat, Lyla.