Life’s Funny
By Maria Johnson
Hi, Welcome to Backdoor, a hyperlocal networking app for hyper, local people with absolutely no knowledge of the natural world.
Today’s Top Post: Snake!
Susan D. * Lakewood
Can anyone tell me what kind of snake
this is?
Joey T. * Woodchase
Garden snake
Laura J. * Thistlewood
See that pattern? Rattlesnake.
Julio H. * Chapelwood
Anaconda
Fran Z. * Meadow Wood
That is definitely not an anaconda. We had an anaconda in our birdbath last week, and it was much bigger than that. I’m guessing yours is a ball python.
Mortimer G. * Towerwood
Plumber’s snake. Just kidding. Could be a juvenile anaconda.
Sara P. * Baywood
Is it hurt?
Susan D. * Lakewood
I don’t know. It was on the driveway next to my son’s car as he was packing to go back to school, and now it’s gone. I guess it got scared.
Fran Z. * Meadow Wood
It wasn’t an anaconda. I can tell you that.
Yesterday’s Top Post:
What Kind of Flower is This?
Zachary M. * Woody Acres
Can someone please identify this flower growing in my yard? It has velvety petals and a lovely scent that reminds me of the Rose Milk lotion my mother used. Also, there are thorns on its stem. Oh, and on Valentine’s Day, I gave my wife a dozen red ones just like it. Help!
Betty T. * Woodbridge
Daisy?
Juanita D. * Gatewood
Hibiscus?
Mike G. * Woods Tower
Juvenile hibiscus?
Emily B. * Everwood
Oh, my gosh! My mother used Rose Milk, too. It smelled just like — I dunno, petunias? — and it made your skin so soft. I haven’t seen it in years. Does anyone know if they still make it?
Dot A. * Woody Terrace
Your wife is one lucky lady! If she doesn’t treat you right, let me know. Maybe you should post a picture of yourself. Wink-wink. Just kidding. Wink.
Joan W. * Station Woods
I loved Rose Milk, too! They don’t make it anymore, but thanks for bringing back great memories. Time passes so quickly. We must take time to stop and smell the flowers in Zachary’s yard, whatever they are.
Top Post Two Days Ago: Wildlife Camera Caught
This Fella
Kathy K. * Sweetwood
Look what our wildlife camera captured in our yard last night! My children say it’s a raccoon. But what do they know? They’ve been learning from home all year.
Franklin S. * Sourwood
Why is he still wearing a mask? I thought you didn’t have to wear one anymore.
Leila C. * Saltwood
There is no mask mandate, but people should feel free to wear a mask, inside or outside, if they’re uncomfortable.
Sue P. * Pepperwood
Am I the only one to notice that this guy is wearing his mask improperly — over the eyes, instead of the nose and mouth?
Evelyn J. * Gingerwood
It’s NOT a COVID mask, people. It’s a robber mask. I swear, this looks like the guy who stole a package off my porch at Christmas. My sister in Wisconsin sent a cheese ball. A good one. The kind that’s rolled in nuts. A few minutes after it was delivered, my doorbell camera caught someone swiping the box from my porch. I hope the guy choked on it. I’m not saying the thief is the same person in your picture. But they have the same eyes and general build. Thanks for sharing. Let’s look out for each other! Practice kindness!
Top Post Three Days Ago: Chipmunk racing
Amelia I. * Forkwood
Does anyone else have this problem: Chipmunks dashing across their deck? My aunt, who was visiting, said, “It’s like a regular drag strip out there.” After she mentioned it, I noticed that my deck is basically a chipmunk freeway. And they make so much noise. Very annoying. Ideas?
Regina N. * Spoonwood
There are some animal repellants you can put on your deck, but I would suggest a permanent remedy, such as a cat.
Nan F. * Firewood
Wow. I cannot believe that you would post that kind of violent content on a family-oriented website. Children read this, you know. Please keep your feelings to yourself. Chip hater.
Regina N. * Spoonwood
I am not a chip hater. My husband, Ray, is a chipmunk if you must know. The point is, he does not run across other people’s decks with his tail in the air. And if he did, he’d deserve to be eaten by a cat.
Grace M. * Johnwood
Your husband is a chipmunk? Awwww. So cute.
Thurmond W. * Paulwood
Do I understand this correctly? That these dang chipmunks are the ones who are racing their cars up and down my street at night? They are SO LOUD. They woke me up at 3 a.m. the other night.
Barb D.* Georgewood
Our mechanic says that some chipmunks modify their exhaust pipes to make them louder, and they alter the ignition timing so the cars backfire and flames shoot out the tailpipe. On purpose.
Paula Y. * Ringowood
That’s sickening, for a chipmunk to do that to a perfectly good car.
David T. * Elviswood
I know. But they do. Look at this picture my security camera caught the other day.
Regina N. * Spoonwood
OMG.
Kelly R. * Redwood
What?
Regina N. * Spoonwood
That’s Ray. OH
Maria Johnson is a contributing editor of O.Henry magazine. She can be reached at ohenrymaria@gmail.com.
