O.Henry Ending

Sinking Feelings

Sometimes, lifeguards just don’t get no respect

 

By David Claude Bailey

His skin white as a catfish belly, legs and arms almost stick-like, the toe-headed boy inched out to the end of the diving board, obedient to his mother’s hectoring. “You can do it,” she said from the shallow end, her arms outspread as if she could catch him. He looked around as if someone might deliver him from his predicament.

Me? I said, “You can do it.”

He didn’t. Like the sodden branch he resembled, the 8-year-old, who had forgotten everything he learned about swimming last summer, sank straight to the bottom.

It was my first day of work as a lifeguard at Reidsville’s Elks Club pool. I was freshly certified as a Red Cross water safety instructor, a notch above what was required to sit atop the lifeguard stand and acquire the tan and regal demeanor sure to attract the attention of lasses wearing skimpy bathing suits.

Reach, throw, row, then go flashed through my mind. No reaching for him from the side. No boat. Life preserver useless, I dove to the bottom, put him in a cross-chest carry and headed for the shallow end — only to encounter his mother’s purple face and flailing limbs. Understandably, she too had decided to rescue her boy, but without the advantage of knowing how to swim. No problem, I thought, remembering the drill for preventing a rescuer from being pulled under by someone else needing rescue. You come up under the second person, holding your free arm forward like a charging quarterback, and push them up and backwards until they find his or her footing.

By the time I got the boy to the side of the pool, he had stopped coughing, but his mom could barely get her breath between hysterical sobs.

Not a bad day’s work, my father was saying that evening when the phone rang. Dad answered it. He listened for a minute or two, and then said, “You need to talk to him about it,” handing the phone to me with his signature quizzical look. It was the president of the Elks Club, who said he needed me to call the woman who had almost drowned . . . and apologize to her.

“For what?” I asked. “She says her chest is pretty bruised up and her husband says you treated her in an unprofessional manner.”

Unprofessional, I thought. Was I supposed to have asked her permission before saving her life?

Without a moment’s hesitation — and to my utter surprise — I told him that he needed to find himself a new lifeguard.

Tomorrow.

After hanging up the phone, I sheepishly looked at my mom and dad. My father had an enormous grin on his face and said, “Good for you.”

At least I had Dad on my side.

But what is it about drowning victims?

Yes, there were others. The second, exhausted from an all-night drive from New Jersey to Holden Beach, had been swept out by a rip tide. It was quite a chore to get him ashore, where an ambulance and EMT’s were waiting. He was probably dazed and distracted, but I didn’t get a word of thanks from him, though a medic patted me on the back and said, “Rough surf, today. Good job.”

But his encouragement didn’t quell the sting from two boaters my buddy and I saved from certain drowning in the Edisto River. Paddling this South Carolina cypress-lined waterway, Bob and I heard a motorboat approaching at top speed. The boat’s operator weighed at least 250 pounds. In front of him was a huge cooler, and a hefty passenger sat in the middle seat instead of in the front. The outboard engine added another hundred or more pounds — all of which resulted in the jonboat planing along at a 40-degree angle that surely defied the laws of physics. Seeing our canoe, the operator immediately cut his engine. And, immediately, a flood of water rushed in over the transom. Then, like some slow-motion cartoon, the boat knifed into the water almost vertically, the weight of water, men, cooler and engine pulling the boat to the bottom.

I remember most distinctly two things: the fear that the two fishermen displayed as they tried to dog paddle — and the cascade of Budweiser cans floating all around them. “Get him to shore,” the boat operator said. “He just had bypass surgery.” We paddled over to his friend, and Bob helped him flounder onto dry land like some walrus. I took the canoe and pursued the captain, who was being swept downriver by the current. Floating facedown on the boat cushion, he was taking in a lot of water. He was determined to board our canoe from the water, a real nonstarter given his weight. I finally managed to convince him to stand up.

Bob and I retrieved their boat and their empty cooler. Then we had a grand time chasing the flotilla of red-and-white cans, whose tops barely bobbed above the water line, unlike soda cans that sink. Once we’d returned their beer and anything else that floated, the two were still arguing and trying to blame the accident on each other and us. We didn’t linger. The last thing we heard was one of them saying, “You know those assholes stole most of our beer, don’t you?”

As my dad used to say, “No good deed goes unpunished.”

O.Henry’s contributing editor David Claude Bailey majored in Greek at UNCG, but learned something worthwhile in his phys ed classes there.

The Accidental Astrologer

Shell Game

C’mon in . . . the Water’s Fine, You Crabby Chic Cancer!

By Astrid Stellanova

 

Reliable and loved, you are — even if crabby. Let’s not forget that you are nocturnal and persistent, but when disappointed you really, really wanna dart back into that shell and run for cover. Shifting sands under your feet make you skittish, but come on out and test the waters! You’re in intense company, too: Nelson Mandela, Gary Busey, Tom Hanks, Princess Diana, Sylvester Stallone, Meryl Streep and Sofia Vergara all share the sign of the crusty critter. — Ad Astra, Astrid

 

Cancer (June 21–July 22)

Did somebody say crab cakes? If you had your druthers, you’d have your cake, top it with cholesterol-bustin’ whipped cream, lob on some ice cream, and watch your health-nut buddies holler loud enough to blow out the birthday candles. Cancer babies have more friends than Carter had liver pills. But — when you start counting your blessings, Baby, and bless your heart you should — do add diligence to the list and forget that LDL number for just one day. You worked for what you have achieved, which goes to show that perspiration is more important than inspiration. Sweat, don’t fret! And keep dreaming that big dream, cause it isn’t too late to see it happen. But hey, nobody has to remind a Cancerian to be tenacious or to eventually trust, do they?

Leo (July 23–August 22)

Sugar, you’re fast and nobody in your age class can beat you in a foot race.  But collar that fight-or-flight impulse for now. Keep that dog on the porch —the one about to run to the front of the pack. You are this close to advancing to the lead without having to put one dirty sneaker on the ground. 

Virgo (August 23–September 22)

It was true you could splurge a little, but Honey, was that your idea of a try at wild abandon? Lord help us, you burned through cash like a Cub Scout with a pack of wet matches trying to burn a wet mule in a storm. So let’s try this again: Indulge yourself, even if it is the Dairy Queen special at Happy Hour, OK?

Libra (September 23–October 22)

Count to ten. Say Amen. Bless your heart; you are fixin’ to have a breakthrough. If you ever thought you had an idea that might be worth something, this one is it. Take care of the legal bits and don’t go bragging at the farm supply about what you are up to until you have your horse saddled and you are ready to roll.

Scorpio (October 23–November 21)

What happened to you recently is about as obvious as a tick on a yellow dog.  You are mad as all get out. You have a reason to be, but don’t just do something. Sit there. Think it through before you start tootin’ or tweetin’ or bleatin’.  A turnaround in your thinking and your temper is the gift in all this, Honey.

Sagittarius (November 22–December 21)

Last month was about as much fun as a colonoscopy. This month is a reward — but don’t get drunk as Cooter Brown just because the blame train left the station and you got a family pass. Bless your heart, you are about to have a big reveal concerning an old friend. Don’t be surprised to learn an old love never forgot you.

Capricorn (December 22–January 19)

It amounted to no more than a hill of beans, Sugar, and that got you all het up. Now, you are ready to plow the back 40 just because that head of steam needs to be released. Bait a hook and go fishing. Whoever got your dander up, they were a small minnow in the fish pond, not Moby Dick, and let it pass. Forgiving thoughts are needed.

Aquarius (January 20–February 18)

You never should “coulda, woulda” on yourself. But you do. Honey, you are looking back over your shoulder way too much. The trouble is, you don’t see the double rainbow looking backwards. This isn’t a breakdown, but a breakthrough. When you’re deep in it, they feel about the same. Time, this month, is your friend.

Pisces (February 19–March 20)

It’s blowin’ up a storm and you put your favorite bathing suit on. That, Sugar, is part of your quirky charm and sunny nature. But right about now, galoshes and a raincoat might be needed. Take refuge in the fact that you have found a silver lining when just about anybody else couldn’t. That is worth a lot and makes a mighty storm pass mighty fast.

Aries (March 21–April 19)

Sweatin’ like a hooker in the front row at a tent revival? Well, you got called out for entertaining the choir with a story about the preacher and the teacher. It would be wise to hold your tongue a hot minute. Not everything that is confided in you is meant to wind up in one of your stories. Discretion, Darlin’, is the word of the day.

Taurus (April 20–May 20)

You’ve been navigating the China Store of Life like a bull on steroids. This is a breathe-deep-and-release time. You could scare your own Mama with your determination, and make small children shake in their boots. What almost nobody knows is what a sugar pie you really are. It won’t cost a nickel to let a few more in on the secret, either.

Gemini (May 21–June 20)

When the month ends, you will look back with no small pride over the fact that you finally acted like a grown-up, Honey Bunny. By turning the other cheek, you have passed a milestone. It was donkeywork for you, but you did it. Don’t neglect your health right now, and drop a weight that could be on your shoulders.  OH

For years, Astrid Stellanova owned and operated Curl Up and Dye Beauty Salon in the boondocks of North Carolina until arthritic fingers and her popular astrological readings provoked a new career path.

July Almanac

By Ash Alder

 

Time Traveling

July is here and you are fishing on the bank with Papa, readjusting his faded straw hat seconds before it slips down your brow again. You don’t notice. You are busy staring at the water’s surface, thinking about the dancing cricket at the end of the line.

Summer sends us time traveling. Shucking sweet corn on the front porch with mama. Potato sack racing with your cousins. Sparklers on the lawn.

Ripe blackberries straight from the bush, but nothing tastes sweeter than summer love. You relive that first kiss, stolen beneath the Southern magnolia, and daydream at the pool with flushed cheeks and pruned fingers.

Papa reaches for the bagged lunch you packed together, unwraps a tomato sandwich, takes a pull of iced tea from the thermos. He is flashing back to his own childhood summers when you feel the tug on your line.

You wrestle a tiny sunfish, straw hat now slipping down past your eyelids. The fish is too small to take home, but papa won’t let you know it. He puts down his sandwich to help you remove the hook. You slip your first-ever catch into papa’s bucket. He lifts the straw hat from your eyes, winks, and then kisses your brow.

Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass on a summer day listening to the murmur
of water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is hardly a waste of time.

— John Lubbock

Full Buck Moon Magic

Sure as our summer garden delivers fresh cabbage (read sauerkraut), July inspires cucumber salad, pickled melon, cantaloupe gazpacho, blueberries and whipped cream. Fourth of July falls on a Tuesday this month. We prepare for backyard barbecues, look for cool and simple dishes to delight friends and family. At market, baskets of golden peaches spell homemade ice cream. The kids will love it. Hosting or traveling, stock up on pickled okra, scuppernongs, and heirloom tomatoes. This is a season that knows how to throw a delicious party. We oblige.

The Full Buck Moon falls on Sunday, July 9. If you’re gardening by the lunar cycle, pop flowering bulbs such as gladiolus and butterfly lily into the earth July 10–22 — day before the new moon. Not too late to plant squash, corn or snap beans, plus heat-loving herbs like basil, thyme and sage.

Summer doesn’t last forever. We’ve lived long enough to know that. As the cicadas serenade you into dreamland, allow visions of your autumn garden to come into focus. A gardener must always plan ahead.

Larks and Nymphs

Seeing as the spur of this month’s birth flower resembles the hind toe of a crested songbird, it’s little wonder how delphinium consolida got its common name. Larkspur (or Lark’s heel as Shakespeare called it) belongs to the buttercup family and, like the orchid, is a showy and complex flower. It’s also highly poisonous if consumed — but perhaps that’s what makes this striking beauty all the more appealing. Color variations convey different meanings. Purple says first love.

Water lilies aren’t just for frogs. Also a birth flower of July, genus Nymphaea takes its name from the Greek word meaning “water nymph” or “virgin.” A symbol of purity and majesty, the lotus flower is a spiritual icon in many cultures. Chinese Buddhists describe Heaven as a sacred lake of lotus flowers. Imagine.

Something Different Dept.

Among the obscure holidays celebrated this month — Sidewalk Egg Frying Day (July 4), National Nude Day (July 14), and Yellow Pig Day (July 17), to name just a few — Build A Scarecrow Day is celebrated on Sunday, July 2. Egyptian farmers swaddled wooden figures with nets to create the first “scarecrows” in recorded history. Only they weren’t scarecrows, per se. They were used to keep quails from the wheat fields along the Nile River. If you’ve a corn crop to protect, consider making an art of it. But just remember, crows are smart cookies — and perhaps better friends than foe. 

A Life Worth Sharing

John Paulin’s morning glories and cottage two stories high

By Cynthia Adams     Photographs by Amy Freeman

As designer John Paulin turns the key and opens the quaintly curved door to his 1927 home, it’s impossible to miss the plaque by the entrance: “This property has been placed on the National Register of Historic Places.”

Those are sobering words. And “historic” could mean a property frozen in time, in firm check, in the hands of a more conformist owner. The cottage, as it exists, from the custom stained glass to the quirks and curves of the roofline, is a fairytale illustration. Yet it is also uniquely Paulin’s, bearing many imprints of his design skills.

Paulin, of Alan Ferguson Interiors and Grassy Knoll (1212 North Main Street in High Point) has his feet planted in two worlds: design and the floral business. And so both interior and exterior have a master’s touch, with extra dashes of curb appeal.

From the street, it is a sedate English cottage with wondrously lush vines climbing the front, sloping roofline, and a profusion of white flowers in the garden and grounds. In spring, the compact property explodes with intensely bottle-green foliage. As a neighbor confides while walking her dogs, many stop to openly admire this cottage garden.

“I’ve always loved the beauty of the garden. My grandmother, the influence,” Paulin explains, while observing that a new planting (a delicately blue-veined white morning glory) could use a drink of water. In the popular English style, the flowers he’s planted are dominantly white, largely supplied by a controlled riot of Annabelle hydrangea. (If you close your eyes, you imagine Vita Sackville-West’s Sissinghurst Castle . . . in miniature.)

In Paulin’s own words this house in the city, only a mile or so from his workplace, is a sanctuary. Here is where a master designer, stylist and florist retreats, along with two white Westies, Lily (the puppy, now 1 1/2 years old) and Lola (age 4).

He has maintained the 1927 vibe of the 2,100-square-foot home while making an unmistakable stamp of his own upon the property. For example, the mosaic tiles at the front entry, ones recently laid, aren’t exactly like the ones that replaced, but better. The tile pattern is vaguely familiar, yet exotic, perhaps Moroccan. It is not the same old, same old — nor is much else.

To the right of the foyer, a former screened porch has been transformed into one of Paulin’s primary living areas. It has soaring rough beam rafters and stained-glass windows on three sides, cocooning the room in filtered, softly colored light.

“This is where I live,” Paulin says. “I tore the ceiling out and opened it up,” and he steps down into what is a masculine, yet cheerful place with a large-screen TV discretely placed.

“Can you tell that the windows on the ends are different?” he asks and pauses. “Most people don’t notice, but I had to have them made. These are old,” Paulin says, indicating the longest glass-lined wall. “The others I had made. I did well without copying them directly. Same colors. Most don’t notice the difference.”

But the differences are definitive. Among them: a leather upholstered handrail on the front staircase. Then there is the second floor guest room ingeniously carved from the attic, with crimson fabric upholstered walls and vaulted ceiling. Leaded and stained glass gracing doorways and windows on both floors are designed to allow for colorful light to dance across walls and spill onto floors.

As much as anything, these are clues that Paulin is not interested in playing by the rules. He’s interested in creativity, and this, well, is his laboratory where “historic” rules go out the window. The interior, a playful mélange of the unexpected, and a few genuine surprises, points to the fact he’s not following some stodgy template, not for a design this expressive.

He came to High Point from Ohio, where Paulin formerly worked for a wholesale rose grower. Fussy roses in a cold climate were a challenge. “Six acres under glass,” Paulin chuckles. “You have to heat roof and floor to keep them going in the winter. I did that for three years.”

Paulin used to vacation in High Point, owing to his family’s business and a change of scenery and climate. The family owned furniture showrooms on South Main Street, and an aunt and uncle lived and worked in High Point.

“Growing up, that was a cost-effective vacation,” he laughs. After a stopover in the city, the family continued to South Carolina to another relation. “My aunt was in Charleston, South Carolina, and we would go to her little cabin on the Santee Cooper River.”

In 1976, he left greenhouse roses behind permanently and came to High Point to join the family furniture business. “I was ready. I loved the Carolinas. It has every season and the seasons are mild.”

Paulin adds, “It was home.” Through his family’s business, he met his present-day business partner, Alan Ferguson. When Alan Ferguson Interiors merged with the florist business, Grassy Knoll, two passions combined under one roof.

Eight years ago, Grassy Knoll took over the first floor of a historic building on Main Street. “We knocked out the walls and opened it all up. When we moved into the present building, I moved the florist in first,” Paulin explains, and the design building followed. The building formerly contained a group of apartments and five private apartments remain on the second floor.

Design — whether floral or interior — was his abiding passion — and still is. Passion is a word he uses frequently. “I think you’re born with it. And being exposed to it does a lot.” Paulin says he is largely self-taught, and he continues learning through Ferguson. It is a pay-it-forward business concept. “Alan started with Thayer Coggin, and learned from them.”

Paulin mentions how he admires the furniture company and family that founded and still runs it. He found his own historic cottage after living on Thayer Coggin’s farm for 15 years in rural High Point. His quarters there were a historic house, part of what was once a working dairy farm. Paulin deeply admired the house and the properties. “It was gorgeous,” he says with a twinge of nostalgia. Later, Paulin moved into a guesthouse on the farm. Some of the properties were stone and others were log, with features built by the WPA during the Great Depression.

“A wonderful family,” he muses. “When Thayer passed, I moved,” he adds. “But the farm was so beautiful.” He explains having planted and labored on the grounds of the 150-acre property, he couldn’t help but become attached to it. Though it was wrenching to leave, Paulin sought something of his own.

Now, the designer and florist was starting over. He had always admired historic Woodrow Avenue and fell in love with one of the first houses he considered.

“When I walked in it, I knew this was where I was going to live. Everything is original to it but the kitchen,” he says. There, he had to knock out a wall or two.  Otherwise, walls remained intact. “The bathrooms were small in the ’20s. I’ve never had a large bathroom,” Paulin points out. “It’s a sink, a commode, a bath tub and a radiator!” It is also wonderfully efficient and satisfies his preference for the intimate scale afforded by rooms. He even creates them in his gardens.

“A designer lived in the house before me . . . so he had done the downstairs bath in brown marble.” The upstairs bath is white marble. There, too, are the warming radiators. Paulin loves the popping, cracking and hissing of radiators.

“I warm my towel on it!” Someone tried to get him to remove them . . . but, “No.”

At more than 2,000 square feet, Paulin says his cottage is “deceiving” as he walks through and points out different aspects. Larger than it appears, the house contains many rooms, each treasure-filled. “It has good bones. I walked in, and just knew. I said, this is it.”

The leaded windows, he says, were just sheets of glass before he changed them. “I put the lead in,” Paulin jokes.

As for his particular style or taste? Change. Paulin says he is about to redecorate, and open things up more with the décor. A sectional sofa is going, and there will be more chairs and conversation areas.

The house has retained only a few of the casement windows. Plaster moldings are set above plaster walls, all of which are in good condition, deep, curved and classic in design.

Upstairs, he installed a tall stained-glass window to enliven what was formerly a dark hallway. Two plaster mold forms rest against the hallway; Paulin picks one up and demonstrates the significant heft of it. For him, they are art forms in and of themselves. His Charleston aunt owned them; he inherited them from her son. He jokes about how he’s probably the only person who would love them, or understand their value.

French antique leaded glass doors open to a former attic space, which he converted into a bedroom as if with a magic wand and some alchemy. It’s a fantasy room, worthy of Harry Potter film sets. “There’s no rhyme or reason to what’s in it,” Paulin says. “It’s just a mixture of stuff.”

His master bedroom is done in earth tones, a palette he finds soothing. At the bedside, a mounted acrylic box contains butterflies, something he particularly loves. A fabric designer who lived in Argentina creates the art boxes from farmed butterflies. Paulin describes precisely how the butterflies are mounted as an art installation, an exacting process. This was a gift, he says.

Nearby, an art piece modeled from feathers, a “feather lady” he laughs, stands under glass on his bedside table.

Back on the main floor, a massive carved tobacco leaf four-poster bed dominates the guest room. Throughout the house, antiques are in evidence. There are also art pieces — bronze sculptures and the glass that he so loves. “I collect Lalique, and champlevé . . . and bronzes” he says, then adds that he also collects Erté, the Russian-born French artist whose fashion designs epitomize the Art Deco period. On display in the living room is a bronze statue of a gymnast, one that is a copy of the original, which is in Atlanta. “When you’re in the business you just collect a little bit of everything.” For instance, “funky lamps,” Paulin says, “odd lamps,” he adds with a grin.

In the cozy-scaled kitchen, which is largely redone, a pressed tin ceiling is the largest visual point. By modern standards it is small. The door casings, as in much of the house, are lined with smoked, bronze mirror. “It brings daylight in, and now that you notice, you’ll see it everywhere.” Paulin doesn’t particularly like mirrors, but the reflected light brightens his days and nights.

A stained-glass rear door leads to a sitting porch, and ultimately, his shaded, well-appointed (by Mother Nature and his own hand) exterior rooms. He has literally put down deep roots. “I’ve been here 20 years,” he says. Beds with vigorous planting and other landscaping features turn the area into a lush Eden.

“It’s a little paradise,” Paulin says contentedly. His property backs up to the Greenway, and a park, which makes him happy. Fountains gurgle and wind chimes trill in the breeze. “And I love water,” he says, pausing by yet another fountain.

Paulin defines the backyard sense of individual rooms by architectural pieces, gateways, and water fountains. A gremlin fountain has pride of place at the foot of his porch stairs.

His favorite decompression spot outdoors is the sitting porch just off the kitchen. Here, he enjoys rare idle time with a beverage, perhaps, “and two dogs.” The prior evening at 10:30, Paulin awakened and found himself still on the porch. He had collapsed there to relax after a tough day helping a friend in their garden. Lily and Lola were snuggled against him. “I love a Westie,” he sighs.

Paulin has also created a dining room at the far reaches of the garden in a leafy, shaded area. A garden table features a sculpted deer on the tabletop; there is ample room to seat a full-on dinner party. And he does this when he can. Paulin is fond of house guests and of entertaining. “Why not share it?” he asks. “C’mon! Why have it if you’re not going to share it?”

Inside, a tall clock at the top of the stair chimes. The dinner hour approaches. “It’s fun to come home and have guests here.” And Paulin disappears, saying he has to get back to work and, later, to collect Lily and Lola who spend their days with Ferguson’s pets. The Westies’ daybed, a curving affair in black upholstery, is tucked in at the foot of the stairs, awaiting their return.  OH

Cynthia Adams is a contributing editor to O.Henry.  In her daydreams, she is sipping Prosecco on Paulin’s sitting porch, midst dappled shade, ivy, moonflowers, and Annabelle hydrangeas.

The Cake Lady’s Best

By Jim Dodson     Photograph by Mark Wagoner

Before our second official date two decades ago, my wife-to-be Wendy put me to work boxing up wedding cakes.

Please note that I said “cakes.” For there were more than 100 of them — perfect little wedding cakes meant for two, gorgeously decorated confections created for a Bridezilla who believed all guests deserved their own personal wedding cake.

“She saw it in a magazine and went to all the local bakeries but nobody wanted to take on the job,” Wendy explained with a laugh as we set about carefully boxing up the baby bridal cakes. Once they were packaged, they were ferried into the kitchen by various neighbors in her cul-du-sac in Syracuse, N.Y., who’d graciously offered their refrigerators for storing the miniature works of art.

Following the delivery, she even rewarded me for my assistance with a cake that didn’t make the final cut. It was spectacularly good, some kind of buttery white cake with a raspberry filling. The bride, for the record, was over the moon with the diminutive delicacies.

Over dinner later that night, I asked Wendy how she had developed her cake-making chops. She explained that she’d always been the natural baker in her family of three daughters, but really found her footing when Karen, her middle sister (Wendy is the eldest) needed a wedding cake. Wendy offered to make it, expertly copying an elaborate cake fromMartha Stewart’s 1995 bible on nuptials, Weddings.

The cake apparently was a big hit and word quickly circulated. Within a relatively short time Wendy had developed a cottage industry she called The Cake Lady and saw a steady stream of folks wanting cakes for all occasions showing up on her suburban Syracuse doorstep. By then she had deepened her considerable knowledge of cake-making by taking an advanced course in the craft and by devouring every classic and modern book she could find on the subject of making cakes.

One afternoon not long after my serious courtship of her commenced, I breezed into her kitchen and saw a large wicker basket filled with fresh-popped popcorn sitting on her kitchen counter. I blithely grabbed a handful of it, discovering, to my horror and embarrassment, that I was holding a gooey glob of icing. The cake was actually a groom’s cake, meant for a fellow whose favorite snack food was popcorn.

I was caught literally licking my fingers — the icing was excellent — when my own unflappable girlfriend entered the kitchen, took one look at my boneheaded gaffe, laughed it off and got to work repairing the damage. Soon that basket of “popcorn” was as good as new — and I knew without question this gal was the one for me.

Two years later, she made our own stunning wedding cake crowned by a bouquet of beautiful summer flowers for the rowdy lobster bake and reception we threw under a harvest moon on our forested hilltop in Maine. A crowd of 100 was expected. A crowd at least half again that size showed up.

The cake was gone within minutes after we cut the first piece, which I never even got a taste of (only the remnant cake tops saved in the refrigerator), an indication not only of how beautiful Wendy’s cakes typically are but — far more important in her view — how delicious.

Over the next decade, as the schoolteacher, wife and part-time baker made cakes for every sort of occasion for friends, co-workers and relatives — rarely charging anything save for major wedding cakes — I was often pressed into service as the cake delivery man and general factotum.

There were some memorable near disasters — like the three-pedestal all-butter cream wedding cake some mad bride in love with the fountains of Versailles ordered for the hottest summer day in Maine. As it sat in an unair-conditioned alumni house on the Bowdoin College campus, there was an interminable delay during which the butter cream began to melt and the entire back of the cake ran downhill. I received a remarkably calm telephone call from Wendy asking me to bring several of our children’s wood alphabet blocks, a screwdriver and some shims to the alumni house. By the time I got there, she’d managed to somehow recreate the back of the cake and soon stabilized the pedestals with the aforementioned blocks. Talk about grace under fire — or heat wave, as it were.

Then there was the wedding party where, moments after we delivered the cake, the groom’s auntie slapped the bride’s mother and all hell broke loose — almost taking Wendy’s beautiful cake with it.

After that, Wendy more or less hung up her wedding cake apron and concentrated simply on making outstanding cakes for friends and family. In our household, the joke is that mama’s cake tops — the portion sliced off the top of a baked cake to allow a flatter surface for decorating — are works of art in and of themselves and never fail to disappear to the last crumb.

Requests for her cakes always seem to surge at the holidays and in summer, when friends are going away and need something special for family dinners.

These two summer standouts are my favorites: a spectacular coconut cake and a strawberry-whipped cream cake that never fails to set picky brides aswoon.

Like all gifted bakers, the former Cake Lady is happy to share her favorite recipes — especially since her husband no longer has to worry about delivering them.

Coconut Cake

Icing:

6 cups confectioners’ sugar

6 sticks (1/2 cup each) of unsalted butter

1 tablespoon vanilla

1/4 cup coconut milk

Combine all ingredients in the bowl of an electric mixer and beat on high for 10 minutes.

Cake:

2/3 cups of unsalted butter

2 1/2 cups of sifted cake flour

1 2/3 cups of sugar

1 teaspoon salt

3 1/2 teaspoons of baking powder

3/4 cups milk

1/2 cup coconut milk

3 eggs

1 teaspoon vanilla

One large bag of unsweetened, grated coconut

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Lightly butter and flour the bottom and sides of two 9-inch cake pans (or use Baker’s Joy spray). 

In the bowl of an electric mixer, combine the flour, sugar, salt and baking powder.  Mix for 30 seconds.

Add the remaining butter and 1/4 cup milk and coconut milk and start beating. While beating, add another 1/2 cup milk.

Add eggs, the remaining 1/2 cup milk and vanilla. Beat 2 minutes longer.  Pour equal amounts into each pan and bake 35 to 40 minutes.

Let pans stand for 5 minutes and then remove cakes to cooling racks.

To Assemble:

Set one layer on a cardboard round. Spread one cup of icing on the top of the first layer and generously sprinkle grated unsweetened coconut on top.  Place second layer on top and ice the top and sides with the coconut icing.  Sprinkle coconut on top and sides of cake, pressing coconut into sides as you go.  Serve!

Whipped Cream
Strawberry Cake

Icing:

6 cups confectioners’ sugar

6 sticks (1/2 cup each) of unsalted butter

1 tablespoon vanilla

1/4 cup heavy cream

Combine all ingredients in the bowl of an electric mixer and beat on high for 10 minutes.

Remove 1 1/2 cups of icing and beat in 1/3 cup of strawberry purée (recipe below)

Strawberry purée:

2 cups fresh or frozen strawberries (if using frozen store-bought strawberries, use unsweetened)

1 teaspoon sugar

Combine and purée in the bowl of a food processor.

Cake:

2 cups sifted cake flour

1/2 teaspoon salt

3 teaspoons baking powder

3 egg whites

1 cup (1/2 pint) heavy cream

1 1/2  cups sugar

1/2  cup cold water

1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Lightly butter and flour the bottom and sides of two 8-inch cake pans (or use Baker’s Joy spray). 

Sift the flour, salt and baking powder together three times and set aside. Beat the egg whites until stiff but not dry.  Whip cream until stiff and fold into eggs. Add sugar gradually and mix well, folding in with a rubber spatula. Add dry ingredients alternately with water in small amounts, beginning and ending with the flour mixture.  Blend well. Pour equal amounts into the pans and bake until the center is set, about 30–40 minutes.  Let cool in pans for 10 minutes and then remove to cooling racks.

To Assemble:

Spread the strawberry icing in the middle. Top with second layer and cover the entire cake with the vanilla frosting.  Add decorative boarders on top and bottom.  Fill in top with fresh strawberries. Serve with additional strawberry purée on side.  OH

Playing the Market

For generations of locals, the bounty of summer awaits
at the Greensboro Farmers Curb Market

By Maria Johnson     Photographs by Amy Freeman

 

Dollar bills? Check.

More dollar bills because you know how you are? Check.

Reusable shopping bag? Check.

A hankering for the happy din of early-morning chatter? Check.

You’re at the right place: the Greensboro Farmers Curb Market.

It doesn’t get any more real than this.

The genealogy of this gathering goes way back, to 1874. Over the years, the market, the city’s oldest, has moved and grown and adapted, as all living things must.

It nests, for now, in a former National Guard armory at the corner of Yanceyville and East Lindsay streets, just across from the old War
Memorial Stadium.

Once home to tanks and artillery, the concrete-block building with a Quonset-hut profile, now functions as a citadel of congeniality, where people flow in from all walks of life every single Saturday morning of the year.

Whether you’re packing cash, a platinum credit card, or a debit card for food stamps, you circulate slowly over concrete floors lined with long wood tables and vendors fishing for your eye. “Can I help you?”

A hundred sellers from a hundred miles around Greensboro populate their stalls with just about everything that people can grow, gather and fashion by hand.

Fresh brown eggs.

Gooey amber honey.

Fuzzy, blushing peaches.

Vibrant, veiny greens.

Ruddy, obese tomatoes.

Sweet corn with sticky tassels.

Coffee so strong the aroma opens your eyes before the first sip.

Warm sweet potato doughnuts, the best outcome a root vegetable can hope for.

Sour cream pound cake. Ooooh. With a smidge of lemon.

Hummus and baba ghanouj, earthy with tahini.

Lavender soap that smells like you want to.

Beef and pork and fish over white melting ice.

Perky posies, beeswax candles, wooden toys, handmade jewelry.

And the berries. Oh Lord, the berries, all plump and sweet and just graduated from the vine.

Shut up, fancy grocery stores.

You want bluetooth access? Ha! You want bluetooth access? The Farmer’s Market can top that. How about blue teeth, plural. Check out Blueberry Pancake Day on July 15. Get there early so you can smile, all purple-mouthed and pretty, at folks who won’t judge you for your syrupy ways.

We can be ourselves here.

Bus riders and Benz drivers. Yoga pants and sarongs, jeans and hijabs, button-downs and tees. Old school, new school, no school.

We go to the old armory in the heart of the city, when the dew is on the clover, and we are fortified.  OH

Wandering Billy

Save Our Historic Buildings

Local architectural beauties are threatened with the wrecking ball

By Billy Eye

 

“We are made wise not by the recollection of our past, but by the responsibility for our future.” — George Bernard Shaw

Was it really 40 years ago when, in an effort spearheaded by Betty Cone, the city acquired the Carolina Theatre, saving it from demolition? On the first weekend in 1975 that the city took possession Dee Covington and I cleaned each and every rocking seat in the place. Being a teenage volunteer, I was determined to explore the theater’s nether regions — heretofore off limits — like the “colored” balcony where the chairs were decidedly smaller and stiff. In the storage area we now know as The Crown, an overflowing pallet of paper 3-D glasses with transparent red and green plastic lenses left over from the 1950s waited in vain for that craze to reignite. But the most amazing discovery was hanging in the fly space above the stage floor.

The Carolina was built as a Vaudeville venue in 1927, the year Al Jolson’s The Jazz Singer ushered in the era of motion pictures with sound. Very soon after, the “Showplace of the Carolinas” was refitted as a movie palace. Meanwhile, one by one across the nation, repertory companies folded, leaving performers stranded in the last city they played. Apparently, one of the Keith Vaudeville chain’s touring acts had their last performance at the Carolina, because they abandoned several spectacular pastoral scenes on canvases spanning the length of the stage. Richly detailed, colorful oil paintings hanging in stasis, virtually unnoticed for a half-century — until I came across them as a teenager. In all the histories I’ve read about the theater, I’ve never seen mention of the stage sets. What happened to them is a mystery to me.

The Carolina was successfully resurrected in 1977 as a performing arts center; only a kook would argue that the parking lot intended in its stead would have served the city as handsomely, or profitably, over the last 40 years. So it’s vexing to me that two gorgeous, nearly century-old landmarks downtown are slated to be demolished for, yes, parking lots!

The Christian Advocate Publishing building at 429 West Friendly is the only example I know of locally with a quintessential Egyptian Revival motif, designed in the mid-1920s by Charles C. Hartmann whose myriad architectural wonders practically define our city. His achievements include the Jefferson Standard (now Lincoln Financial) building; the F.W. Woolworth Building, home of the International Civil Rights Center; the Price Mansion, Hillside, that’s made recent headlines; and Grimsley High School. Let’s consider how 429 West Friendly fits in with the other historical properties in that area.

In addition to butting up against the palatial Greensboro Masonic Temple, the Christian Advocate Publishing building sits within strolling distance of two impressive antebellum mansions, primo examples of downtown’s first homes repurposed for modern use. Directly across the street is the white columned wonder that is the Michael Sherwood House from around 1850 and, around the corner on North Edgeworth, the Weir-Jordan House, longtime home of the Greensboro Woman’s Club. Next door to that is a Craftsman-style bungalow built in 1910 when this neighborhood was originally developed. Grace Methodist United Church from the 1920s seamlessly connects this tableau. It’s only due to the vociferous objections of preservationists that the former headquarters for Christian Advocate Publishing wasn’t demolished back in May. However, if a contingency can’t be reached over the next few months, it will come down. If you want a parking lot, Greensboro, I say buy the nearby Hardee’s and tear that down. I doubt future generations will lament the loss of artery-clogging Thickburgers and faux Mexican food.

The madness doesn’t stop there. A venerable one-story building that wraps around the corner of East Market and Davie, featuring three decorative storefronts of brick, sandstone and green marble with glass brick accents, has a date with the bulldozer at year’s end. With roomy interiors, deep showcase entranceways and high ceilings, this scrappy survivor was once a cornerstone to one of the busiest intersections in town. Established in 1928, Showfety’s Uniforms had done a brisk business here until 1971, when it was displaced by the motel recently leveled for GPAC three blocks away.

Rather than getting stuck with the unsightly and soon-to-be-vacated News & Record complex that supplanted it, wouldn’t it have been nice if we hadn’t imploded the King Cotton Hotel in 1978, even if it were to sit empty for lo these many decades? Think of the possibilities. We’re fortunate South Elm wasn’t obliterated in the name of progress back in the early-1970s. Are we poised to make an egregious error in judgment like the one we narrowly avoided 40 years ago? Again, for parking lots? This demonstrates a staggering lack of imagination.

* * *

My favorite combo, Basement Life, took to the nonexistent stage at New York Pizza not long ago for a ferocious set. Bouyed by Caleb Gross’s hypersonic drumming and Eric Mann’s bass onslaught, lead singer Gavan Holden proved again to be an incredibly powerful singer songwriter with a raw but measured intensity, a defiant high energy authenticity that grows more belligerent with each new band incarnation. His poses aren’t poseur but true affronts to your fragile sense of self. (Music critique isn’t supposed to make sense, get over it.) Basement Life’s new CD, Love Is Not Real, is one you’ll listen to over and over again, until they inevitably drag you away in a straightjacket.  OH

Billy Eye moved downtown 20 years ago when everyone asked, “Why would you want to live downtown? There’s nothing there.” Every Thursday afternoon this month from 3 p.m. until 6, Billy Eye will be at Parts Unknown: the Comic Book Store at 906 Spring Garden, near the corner of Mendenhall, to talk with you about Old Greensboro, classic comics, TV history, my books, or whatever else you can think of. Stop by and say hello!

Birdwatch

It’s a Bird!
It’s a Plane!

Nope, that reddish, winged creature in the garden is a hummingbird moth

 

By Susan Campbell

I am waiting — just waiting for the first call to come in from someone who has seen a “baby hummingbird.” Although this is the time when young ruby-throateds are appearing at feeders and flowers across the state, the first report of the year is usually from a very puzzled observer. Not only has he or she spotted a very small hummer, but it looks to be of another species: The color pattern is very different. So, what is it?

The answer is always the same: It is not a hummingbird at all, but a moth. Indeed, these insects hover to feed from brightly colored flowers and appear to have a long bill but they are insects. The obvious give-away is the long antennae. But on such a small, fast flier the antennae — and three pairs of legs — are easily overlooked. The odd behavior and body coloration are what grab one’s attention. The confusion is so common that many bird identification guides depict these moths on the same page alongside the details for ruby-throated hummingbirds.

Here in the North Carolina Piedmont and Sandhills, we have at least three kinds of so-called hummingbird moths all of which are in the Sphingidae family. Two are “clearwing” moths: the hummingbird clearwing and the hummingbird hawk moth. We also have white-lined sphinx moths in late summer. They are all exclusively nectivorous feeding, and they like the very same blooms that hummingbirds frequent. With their long proboscises, they can reach down into the tubular flowers of impatiens, fuchsias, and assorted salvias, just to name a few.

The clearwings are named for the transparent midsection of their wings. The rest of the body is frequently reddish but may be a shade of blue. They are active during the day, flitting from plant to plant in search of a sweet meal. Typically clearwings are not intimidated by human activity; probably because four-legged mammals do not prey on moths in our area. That means one can usually approach these beautiful creatures very closely. If you have the patience as well as a fast shutter speed, you may be able to get some excellent shots of these photogenic insects.

Sphinx moths are large, striking and interesting moths. And unlike the clearwings, they are creatures of the night. They can be abundant at the very same flowers hummingbirds use during the day. But most people are totally unaware of their existence given their nocturnal habits. It is the caterpillar of this group that is more familiar. Typically called a hornworm (given the yellowy head projections), they are voracious pests on a variety of plants such as tomatoes, peppers, eggplant and tobacco. However, not only are the adult sphinx moths eaten by bats and small owls but as caterpillars, hornworms are sought out by tiny Braconid wasps. The eggs of the wasp develop under the skin of the caterpillar. Once they pupate, they attach themselves externally and are mistakenly thought to be the eggs of yet more caterpillars. When gardeners find caterpillars in this state, they are no longer a threat to the plants, with very little time to live.

So keep your eyes peeled around the yard this summer.  You may be lucky enough to spot one of these “baby hummers” hovering among the blooms!  OH

Susan would love to receive your wildlife sightings and photos at susan@ncaves.com.